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Try going to a bar and telling a strange woman you’re into S&M, and you’d really like to spank her. I’ve canceled my membership to every other site." Richard "Sometimes I just needed some variety, but I was constantly paranoid about getting caught.

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In the latest twist, scammers coax victims into taking explicit photos and videos of themselves and then threaten to distribute them to their Facebook or Skype contacts if they don’t pay them money or help them launder money.“We’re seeing a lot of these sextortion cases lately,” said Wayne May, an administrator who gives advice to the lovelorn on the website Scam Survivors.DATING websites and apps typically see a surge in activity this time of year as people who felt lonely over the holidays try to follow through on New Year’s resolutions to find someone special with whom to share their life, or maybe just someone agreeable to share their bed on a cold winter’s night.But whether they’re looking for sexcapades or long walks on the beach, the desire for companionship and connection makes people vulnerable to a most 21st-century crime: the online romance scam, which bilked victims of all ages and orientations out of more than 0 million last year, according to the F. I.“The drive to find a preferred mate is extremely powerful,” said Lucy Brown, a clinical professor of neurology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine, who studies the brain activity of people in love.Or it could be some dude at a Starbucks texting victims on his cellphone, or a pajama-clad woman in her apartment sending bogus love bombs from her laptop.They may assume the identity of actual soldiers deployed overseas or pretend to be engineers working on projects in far-flung locales. “They are able to manipulate the victim into believing they have found their one true soul mate.”Victims are as likely to be men as women, young, old or middle-aged, gay or straight, highly or poorly educated.

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