Dating websites abused members
Rationalizations occur during the denial period, men in particular are good at thinking their way out of problems, where as women are better at feeling and dealing with their emotions.
Some rationalizations include: I was a difficult kid to raise; I never used to listen to my parents; I didn’t try to stop them; it was just normal punishment; I was a dumb kid; I never told anyone; my parents had it rough; we were poor; I was seductive; I would dress improperly; my body developed too early; I enjoyed it etc. Try and imagine a young child you know who is the same age as you were when you were abused; realize how small you must have appeared to your abuser – it was not your fault.
Remember what led up to the abuse, what the person/s did to you, and how it felt at the time. It is important to say ‘I was abused’ and if you can, tell someone close to you. It may be the first time you have admitted to the abuse and lifted the great veil of secrecy over child abuse – you are on your way to dealing and coping with the experience.
At Living Well, we recognise that there is not a lot of information and support out there for partners of men who have experienced childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault, particularly in relation to the impact on couple relationships.
Relationships where one or both parties have experienced childhood sexual abuse or sexual assault are no different.
It isn’t an easy task to admit to yourself the abuse you suffered and actually disclose this information.
Jerry, a reader who was abused by his Mother for six years as a child, denied he was being abused and stated that his Mother did the sexual acts because she was showing her love for him.
Whether you or your partner was sexually abused or not, this will always be the case.
There is no prescribed way that an experience of sexual abuse will impact on a man or on his relationships. A man will often try to find his own way to deal with the experience of sexual abuse, and will work hard to limit its impact on his life and relationships.