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I tried to appeal to Bill Gothard on the basis that there were other girls at Headquarters whom I had spoken to much more frequently than I had ever talked to Rachel; I just didn’t understand why I was getting sent home for talking to her only a few times.

Bill Gothard told me that Rachel was not like the other girls at Headquarters.

I said goodbye to my family in Knoxville, Tennessee, where we had traveled to attend the yearly Advanced Training Institute (ATI) annual conference, and climbed aboard one of the many vans transporting IBLP staff back to Oak Brook, Illinois. Benjamin Harrison outside Indianapolis, Indiana, and enjoyed the Fourth of July celebrations.

I felt both excited and honored to have been invited to join IBLP’s staff.

Then one day, after lunch, I struck up a casual conversation with Rachel.

She was about 15 years old, blonde, attractive, and had a nice smile.

Although she had come to Headquarters about the same time I had, I had never really spoken to her, as she was part of that “in crowd.” I didn’t give the conversation a lot of thought, nor did I think I was singling her out in any way as there were other people around.

In light of my “crime” this seemed like a double standard to me.

I also hoped that I might yet redeem myself in Bill Gothard’s eyes, even though I felt hurt, confused, and even angry.

Bill agreed to let me stay those few extra weeks on two conditions: first, I could not talk to Rachel at all during this time (a request I obeyed) and second, I had to stay with him in his office every evening after work as long as he was there (which I complied with as well).

This “in crowd” was comprised of pretty young ladies and a few young men and always seemed to stand close to Bill Gothard, eat with him at the head table in our dining room, and accompany him whenever he interacted with any dignitaries.

Neither the young men I had met, nor my sister’s friends whom I already knew, seemed to be part of this “in crowd,” so by default I was not either.

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